[His training with Jack has helped a little, made it easier for him to open himself up to something like this. But it doesn't help with the most difficult parts of this. All it does it make his side of the connection easier to open.
The focusing takes almost all the mental strength he has, taking an ungodly amount of time before he even comes close to the level needed. Everything else has to be shut out. Everything has to be worn away. It's almost agonizingly slow and so full of frustration that he has to stop over and over, only to start again.
But then, something seems to happen. It's not a conscious change. Like the sudden give in something that has been pushed relentlessly, something bends. Something changes. After an absolute age of effort, his mind simply switches into silence and calm. It's like sleep, but he knows he's awake. There's simply nothing else but the cause of his focus. He reaches out slowly in his mind and touches something cold but gentle, firm and strong and strange, but familiar.
A chill inside of him heralds the feel of that connection. Something is flowing between them now. Something given... and something taken. It's almost painful - no, it is painful, he realizes dully. Those channels of magic within him have opened for the first time, and it's like the energy flowing into him is burning him from the inside with its coldness and power. And he can't stop it, he can't stop his mind from calling it in-]
Nn...
[No, he can't give rise to panic. Gritting his teeth, he throws all of his focus against it, forcing the flow of energy to slow. It's pure instinct he's going by now, forgetting the instructions in favor of damage control. It has to work in synchronization. Not forced, but not uncontrolled. Like a natural dam, controlling the flow of a river. Letting in only as much as is needed at any one time... and preventing the build-up from getting too high to be controlled.
And...
Switch. He breathes a sigh of relief as he manages to gain control over the flow of it, preventing it from flooding him. How long did it take? He doesn't know. It feels like a lifetime.
Absentmindedly, he makes a note that it was probably not a good idea to work with a monster that strong so early.]
no subject
The focusing takes almost all the mental strength he has, taking an ungodly amount of time before he even comes close to the level needed. Everything else has to be shut out. Everything has to be worn away. It's almost agonizingly slow and so full of frustration that he has to stop over and over, only to start again.
But then, something seems to happen. It's not a conscious change. Like the sudden give in something that has been pushed relentlessly, something bends. Something changes. After an absolute age of effort, his mind simply switches into silence and calm. It's like sleep, but he knows he's awake. There's simply nothing else but the cause of his focus. He reaches out slowly in his mind and touches something cold but gentle, firm and strong and strange, but familiar.
A chill inside of him heralds the feel of that connection. Something is flowing between them now. Something given... and something taken. It's almost painful - no, it is painful, he realizes dully. Those channels of magic within him have opened for the first time, and it's like the energy flowing into him is burning him from the inside with its coldness and power. And he can't stop it, he can't stop his mind from calling it in-]
Nn...
[No, he can't give rise to panic. Gritting his teeth, he throws all of his focus against it, forcing the flow of energy to slow. It's pure instinct he's going by now, forgetting the instructions in favor of damage control. It has to work in synchronization. Not forced, but not uncontrolled. Like a natural dam, controlling the flow of a river. Letting in only as much as is needed at any one time... and preventing the build-up from getting too high to be controlled.
And...
Switch. He breathes a sigh of relief as he manages to gain control over the flow of it, preventing it from flooding him. How long did it take? He doesn't know. It feels like a lifetime.
Absentmindedly, he makes a note that it was probably not a good idea to work with a monster that strong so early.]