I would like to add a full bar, hot tube on the patio, a penthouse view, and maid service.

[Once that closet door is open, he looks inside, peeks out, then looks in again.]

This isn't a closet! It's a shoebox! Where's the rest of it?

[Up goes the jacket on the pole and a disinterested look on his face.]

What are you talking about?

[He removes his gloves and sets them aside on the dresser.]