EGYPTIAN WHEELIES

[obeytherod]

[Malik had found something while looking through the East Wing. Just what that "something" was becomes apparent when an engine roars to life, and the skid of tires on tiled flooring echoes through the halls.

Sure...sure, he could just walk his new bike outside...but where was the fun in that?! This wasn't an ATV, and it likely wasn't going to fair well in the spotty terrain outdoors...

So he's just going to take a few smooth-riding laps in the halls before he goes to test it outside.

When somebody gets in his way, he rears the bike back onto one wheel, skidding a few feet on the floor before the front tire slams back down and he comes to a stop.]

What, are you trying to get yourself killed?

Comments

[obeytherod]

Well, all we have to do is not use a condom and he'll get upset, right?

[Malik snickers, eye contact unfaltering. This was obviously the greatest evil plan he's ever had.]

[fluffydeathdealer]

[Wait what.]

...You're planning to go far enough for that?

[obeytherod]

Huh? [Malik just stares a moment before deciding to explain himself. Jeez, Bakura, he thought it was obvious!] Well we were already doing it anyway, but now we can do it in spite of Ryou.

[fluffydeathdealer]

[...Malik are you an idiot?]

Malik, you know you only need condoms for penetrative acts, right?

[obeytherod]

[He just...stares a moment.]

...But he said "intimate stuff".

[fluffydeathdealer]

Ryou is more of an innocent than you were, Malik. Boys don't tend to think of sex as anything but penetrative.

He didn't have a clue what we actually do. So he guessed. And he was too nervous to actually say what he meant.

[obeytherod]

...Oh. [Grimacing a bit.] I was wondering why he kept bringing that up.

How annoying... [His plan has been ruined!]

[fluffydeathdealer]

[Jeez, Malik... he's really never getting actually laid with you, is he?]

It's fine! Just trick Ryou into thinking that sort of thing happened. His mind will do the rest.

Or just make it 'uncomfortable' for him... We could always stage some suspicious-looking scenes for him to wake up in...

[obeytherod]

... [That mischievous look reappears.] Oy, oy...why didn't you say so sooner? Let's do that.

[Malik pulls back, taking his Rod with him and slipping it back onto his belt.] What kind of "suspicious-looking scenes" did you have in mind?

[fluffydeathdealer]

Heheh... I could always fulfil that promise of mine to show you what my mouth can do... and let him wake up right at the end.

[Bakura's voice is maliciously amused.]

[obeytherod]

... [Malik covers the lower half of his reddening face.] I don't want him to see me like that!

[fluffydeathdealer]

[A snicker.]

I didn't mean right away. But you know how he is about waking up with strange tastes...

[obeytherod]

Oh, right... [He's still flushed, but considering it. He had more reserves than just the one, though...]

You're a sadistic bastard. How do I know you're not going to bite me?

[fluffydeathdealer]

...

Malik, do you really think I'd bite your dick? Even I've got my limits.

Besides, I prefer that being in working order.

[obeytherod]

I don't know! [He tosses his hands up.] I guess not...

[fluffydeathdealer]

Heheh... One of his concerns was about you being on top, right?

How do you think he'd react if the Ring apparently fell off, leaving him awake and underneath you while you're sitting on him? You don't even have to be doing anything... as long as it looks wrong.

[obeytherod]

...But I don't want him to think I've done that! [There was no way he was sticking anything up there.]

And what if he thinks I was just going to...be kinky?!

[fluffydeathdealer]

...

Malik, I think we need to get your head checked out. I didn't say you had to be naked. Shirtless should be enough to freak him out.

Besides, being kinky isn't bad.

[obeytherod]

...Oh. Well, I could do that. [It's not his fault Bakura made it sound like more than that!]

And I don't want to be kinky.

[fluffydeathdealer]

If you wanted to be really cruel, we could be naked... and looking like you were going to stick it in.

But I doubt you have the temperament to stage something like that. Especially since Ryou would be losing his mind...

And why not? It's not like you have to try bondage.

[obeytherod]

Euch, I'm not doing that! I already told you I don't want him to think I've done that.

[...Even if his expression would be priceless. Actually, that almost made it tempting. Almost.]

...Wait. I thought kinky was a euphemism for something else.

[fluffydeathdealer]

You misunderstand... I meant sticking it in me. That was his big concern, right?

[Yes, he would go that far for trolling. He's sure Malik wouldn't have the nerve to actually go through with it, but staging things like that is fine.

He stares at Malik curiously.]

'Kinky' just means any method of sexual pleasure that isn't the most basic 'lie flat on your back and take it'.

[obeytherod]

No, I know what you meant. I don't want him thinking that either! That would mean I would want to stick my...

[He sort of just dissolves into some flustered mumbling.]

...in your...wouldn't...gross...I have my limits...

[Malik waves a hand dismissively.] Your first idea--with your mouth--was fine, let's just do that!

[fluffydeathdealer]

...you're really thrown off by that idea, aren't you? Heh... It's kind of cute.

[Pushing Malik over onto his back, he rests on his chest and smirks down at him.]

It's really not that bad, you know...

[obeytherod]

Hh! [He tenses defensively when he's pushed over, paranoid and flustered thanks to what they'd been discussing.]

...I'd never even heard of something like that before you mentioned it!