the_campus | ANNOUNCEMENT 012

Well... [He's amused enough to be smiling.] Learning experience or not, it is better if more learning experiences are based off successes than mistakes. [He's made plenty of the latter.]

Hey, look. You say a nice thing to make her know she's appreciated, don't expect anything back. Sometimes it's good for people to know that they're cared about.

[Niko sucks at advice. His cousin and his mother are the ones that say they care about him, and that only helps him a little. Sometimes he feels like he's much more of a problem for them than someone they should care about. He never masks that he cares back, though.]

[He sees you smiling there, Niko. See him peering out from between his fingers? He's just going to...stay like this a few moments longer, though.

What is his life.]

Well yeah...and I don't! I mean, I say nice stuff and never expect anything because I'm not a creep and I wouldn't know what to do with it anyway-

[So embarrassing. Please just shoot him.]

No no, I mean...

[He holds up his hand, a two of hearts in it.] Nice things. Like all the things you like. Like I say, women are not given many reasons to think well of themselves, or they learn that to think well of themselves they must be very fake.

Telling a girl good things can keep her genuine. Not just small things. The important ones.

She knows I think she's beautiful.

[Still mumbling through his hands here. Sigh.] I drip sap half the time I'm talking to her anyway. And she's smart and brave and-

Yeah, I need to actually tell her that, okay.

[Kai gives the card Niko's holding a look, as if it's responsible somehow for his current misery, before forcing himself to stop hiding behind his hands and sit up straight.]

[He puts it back into the deck to straighten it out again, doing the thing where he makes a point of making sure all the cards are the patterned side up.]

If you have a chance to do normal teenage things here, you should take them. I didn't. I grew up in a war.

We already do the cuddling thing, sometimes. Though-

[Okay, brain stopped at that. He frowns, staring at Niko in silence for a few moments. What?]

Your whole childhood? Or just-

['Just' what, the important bits? All of it was important. Kai sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.] Sorry. That must've been- Sorry.

Hey, don't worry about it. It just means I'm an overgrown kid sometimes now. Always with cops and robbers. [He just chuckles a little.]

Cuddling, though, that's a good start. Means that she trusts you close. Probably even likes you close.

I still build pillow forts and play with wooden swords. [Probably real cops and robbers. Kai grins a bit at that, shaking his head.]

Yeah, well...

['Yeah, well'. Really, that's the best he can do?] I sure like having her close.

...This is a conversation I should be having with my dad or even my uncle...No, wait, we did that already. Sort of.

[They had 'the talk' when he was eight and that was it. It wasn't like Kai ever felt the need to go bug them about it after that. Video games and magic were more important than girls.]

[That observation makes him a little sheepish and it seeps into a smile. While it makes him a little angry about how his father treated him, it gives him that slim bit of hope if he lives to see that day maybe he wouldn't be a terrible father after all.]

Mothers usually give better advice on how to treat women. Mine always told me to always remember that there is some part of any woman that is beautiful and to do things they like for them because one day they could raise your children.

Most of the women I date? I would not want children with. But I still remember to do things they like and that they are very nice looking.

[Kai needs a father figure while he's here, Niko. Want to volunteer?]

I haven't seen mine since I was a kid, but I can pretty much guess what her 'advice' would be. 'Stay away from us, we're trouble.' [Really, Maya would've been serious.]

Your mom sounds smart. [He laughs as he pushes his bangs out of his eyes.] I think being a dad would be pretty neat- [Wait, stop.] Someday! A really long time from now...and I'd be doing a lot of nice things for their mom if the kid turned out to be anything like me.

[Kai has a feeling he'd be apologizing constantly for that. Trouble seems to literally run in his blood.]

[The poor guy is only 30 but war has kicked his ass left and right through the years so he looks older than that.]

Well, they're that. But they're worth it. [He knows that he has some of his father in him and he deeply, deeply wishes that he didn't. But it's there. An angry raging asshole on one hand, his mother's desire to take care of people on the other. They're not a useful mix.] My mother is the smartest, kindest, most intelligent person I know.

...But if she was your girlfriend, I don't know how this place works. Do you have condoms here? [This is suddenly relevant to his interests too. Eventually, at some point, Niko's going to go want to get some.]

[Kai's eighteen but acts younger, so it works out? Somehow.]

Karasu's sure worth it. [At least Niko knows where he gets things from. Kai has no idea what his biological father's like, so he tends to assume most of his behavior issues are inherited from his mom.

It's pretty close to the mark, actually.]

That's a big 'if'. I'm not sure how she felt about me before I screwed up. Maybe I had a chance then, but I kind of doubt it now. [So does that mean he's just going to give up and not bother? ...Doubtful.] 'Sides, I can't even hold her hand without going three different shades of red and-

[Wait, back up, condoms? Oh Light. Kai stares hard at Niko, the blush from earlier coming right back. Geeze.]

I, uh. Um. There's...yeah. [Coherent thought. This is something he knows how to do...once he's done getting his brain to reboot, anyway.]

The nurse's office. Stumbled over some when I was raiding for painkillers once. [And then he'd died a couple deaths and put them back before getting the hell out of dodge.]

Yeah, I know it might seem kind of embarrassing, but is better to have one on you just in case. There is a very fine line between "good idea" and "bad idea".

[Niko has a lot of trouble telling "good ideas" from "bad ideas". It's a chronic condition.]

Maybe it doesn't do me so much good. Not many ladies that are my age around here.

[It's like March of the Dicks. Jesus.]

'Kind of' embarrassing? Only a lot.

[So does Kai. It's how he gets himself into so much trouble, but really, at least half his ideas seem like good ones at the time.]

But it's the responsible thing to do, I know. Raising a kid while trapped here would be brain breaking and horrific, honestly. [He spends enough time freaking out that his dog'll disappear, and the way he reacted when Karasu did? Bad Idea.]

Well... [He grins suddenly.] Maybe one'll turn up? Not that I'd actually wish this place on anyone.

[He makes a so so motion with his hand.] Think of it like this. It is a little embarrassing when you are not doing anything. If you are? It is many more times embarrassing to not have it.

[But yeah, it sounds pretty horrific.] I never thought twenty something women would be so difficult to come across. [Seriously, he's seen maybe two. And they're variations on the same person. And that's really confusing.]

[He considers how desperate he'll have to be before he goes looking for companionship with a man. Jesus. Pretty desperate. Niko's an affectionate guy. In cases like this it bites him in the ass.]

Yeah...okay, I'll go...get some. [Soon. Tomorrow. Or maybe the beginning of next week. He has serious doubts something like that is going to happen this century.]

Maybe if you poke around the North Wing enough something'll turn up? I mean, those rooms are weird, I wouldn't put it past them to generate mock-people or-

[Wait, it sounds like he's saying Niko should find the equivalent of a hooker. Oh geeze. Kai sighs, facepalming. Please ignore him, he has no useful ideas here.]

[If there were actual prostitutes he'd make use of them. That's pretty much a guarantee. However he's wary of strange magic wing manifestations of hootchie.] Ah, I'm not that desperate. Besides, it is a good point that this is a scary place to develop feelings for people. Either you have to enjoy it while you can and be ready for it to disappear, or you avoid it because sooner or later you will be going home anyway.

Ha, well that's good. Maybe you'll never get that desperate?

[Here's hoping. He drops his hand to tap lightly on the table.]

After I realized I was, I wanted to avoid it. Still do, sometimes. A little while ago, she was gone. Just vanished. And...everything crumbled. Which has a lot to do with why I'm being an idiot, teaching Bakura magic.

[And touching the Ring dear Light he's never telling anyone about that. Yes Kai, come to the Dark Side, it wants you back.]

But she's here again and I'm just so happy she's okay. I don't think I can just enjoy it and be ready for things to go to hell, but if I lock her out, I'll lock everyone out. I did it once before, after my world fell to the Heartless.

[Kai's voice drops, and he lowers his head.] Took me a while to let people back in, you know? Sometimes I'm still not sure it was a good idea.

[Niko is committed to his mistakes, his terrible life. He's been buried under experience after experience. He can't protect anyone, and it feels like by simply existing he brings hardship on those around him. He's half convinced this is why he could never be a good mentor. But he scrapes brain, searching for advice that wouldn't be telling him to give up, to push them all way; it's what he would do.]

If you're going to go ahead and get close to people, whether you want to or not, it is better for both of you to be ready for the consequences. Most of these people, they are not pussies that can't handle themselves. If you get close to them, they can fight back.

[Just going to keep tapping the table here while Niko talks. He's pretty sure Karasu can handle it...he wonders about Ryou sometimes, and that makes him smile. Shouldn't it be the other way around?]

I know my friends can. I guess I'll have to deal with it. I'm already trying to face other stuff I was avoiding, so why not this?

[Kai sighs, giving his head a shake before glancing up.]

I think I might be doing more growing up here than I ever would've done back home. It's kind of weird. When I get back to 'Jem - the kid I was traveling with before I was taken - she's going to think I'm an impostor or something.

Well, I guess thirteen's not such a kid anymore, and if time just keeps on while I'm here, it's really going to hurt when I see her next. She puts an awesome amount of force behind her swings. [He finally laughs at that, moving his arms to mimic swinging a stick.]

I'm hoping time really is standing still, I don't need the bruises.

Thirteen is kid enough. I was learning to use heavy artillery at that age. I wish I wasn't in a situation where I had to- I would rather be learning how to be a farmer. [It's miserable looking back on it.]

You are getting to do the good parts of growing up. You should enjoy that while you can. And if you're not going to remember it anyway, you might as well see it as your own tiny life here you can treat however you please.

[He likes that way of looking at it- here, Bulgarin can't touch him. He doesn't have to worry about his cousin for a while. Money is not an issue.]

[Kai's expression darkens a little at that. Killing people...he's lucky his experiences aren't so violent. At least, not in that way.] 'Jem...I was teaching her magic to defend herself, in case I was ever away. Not that I ever planned to be. She doesn't know that much, I only taught her Fire, we were about to really get started on Blizzard when- Thirteen really isn't a kid for her anymore. She was ten when I met her, and I think she stopped being one that day.

[Because of him. Because he failed. But this is some of that 'stuff' he's been avoiding, and it's going right back into the 'Ha ha, you're not here' column. He frowns at Niko for a second at the mention of memory. Wait.]

I never thought of it like that. I mean, I've always expected I'll get home and remember everything about this. I've been keeping a lot of notes, sure, but those are more for 'Jem than me. Not sure if I'd rather keep the knowledge of where I've been or lose it.

[Niko's figured out what the spells probably mean.]

Did anyone else take what they learned back with them? [Which is a little concerning, that he doesn't know.]

I don't know. I mean, when someone goes, their junk goes with from what I've heard. But Karasu...

[He trails off, looking thoughtful. He's not sure if her stuff had disappeared, he never got to see inside her room. Dealing with the Thief King for a glimpse? Ugh.]

When she was gone, I don't know if her stuff went too. But after she came back, she said she hadn't been home, that she was just in a sort of limbo. Not here or there. So I guess that's an option too, now. Or maybe the only one.

[Maybe no one ever leaves, they just end up in a literal nowhere and never come back. There's a pleasant thought.]

Does it really matter?

[The question is a little earnest.] If you go away from here, you are gone and that is that. You may come back, but how often do people?

You should do what you can to get out of the mindset of battle. It's one I have never been able to escape, but you still have a chance.

ANNOUNCEMENT 012

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